The evolution of my hair.

Yes. I hadn't noticed that I had several "do's" in three years time - until Mimi pointed it out.

First year, I had really long hair.- And I had it rebonded.

Somewhere during second year,
I had it cut but it was still long.

So sometime around july last year, I had it cut again. - It was sooo fugggly. :(
(oh. Ignore the shades. :)))

Then summer '07, I got so fed up of manually curling my hair, I had it permed.

This was... um taken sometime around.. May? :)
It was THAT long na.

Tapos three weeks ago, I had it chopped to almost shoulder length? Basta beneath lang my shoulders. Pero I have no picture. haha. :P Tapos just last week, I have bangs na. I was actually trying to go for the china chop - inspired by Andy Saks (the protagonist of The Devil Wears Prada), but I realized it's quite unachievable because I have curly hair. :)) (Please forgive the quality of the picture. I don't have my camera yet. :D)
Because Mimi pointed it out, I suddenly started pondering on why I kept on changing my look. Then I realized that I think it has something to do with my mood. My first hair cut was when I was really sad about.. ugh. Something. Then the next one, the really ugly one, was when everyone was really stressed over broadquest. Then when I had my hair permed, it was actually right after my ex and I broke up (then the next day, we accidentally saw each other at SM ctrpt. Haha!). Then finally, I had my hair cut just beneath the shoulders, followed by my bangs because of reasons that I don't really want to talk about. HAHA. :)) Wala lang. Maybe it's just coincidence. But I donno. My locks almost always suffer at the time I am stressed or depressed about something..

Last night Avery and I were talking and he told me that I have a "free flowing aura" - This is why people guess how I feel instantly even if I don't really talk about what I feel. Haha. :)) Am I really that easy to read?! Oh well. I'll go and blame my aura then.

I really AM moody! And I won't deny that. I have noticed that when I'm really depressed, after a few minutes, I would laugh then I'd forget why I was depressed in the first place. But if I'm happy then something really pisses me off, I'd be really annoyed and I'd look really sullen. Then after a few minutes, I'll be okay again. Haha.

But I guess my hair isn't the only one suffering when I'm sad about something. My wallet's affected too. HAHA. :)) Just this month I bought 5 blouses, 3 purses, and a pair of clear jelly shoes. And my mom kept on encouraging me to buy pa! Which was funny coz she never does that.. Or I guess because I'm the one who's spending. Haha. Well at least I'm happy. :))

Shopping IS really the best therapy for depression. :| Hehe. :P

Eheeeeniway. It's 2 in the morning and to sleep because I have classes tomorrow.
*sigh* Where is the bagyo? I thought it would be raining cats and dogs last saturday pa. Tsk! Pinaasa pa kaming mga students. BOO! lol. :P

Anyway. I shall bounce! :)
*boink!*

Ako yung tipo ng taong madalang magsend ng quote.

Usually, when I send quotes, it means may pinapatamaaan ako, yun talaga yung nararamdaman ko, or feeling ko, maganda yung quote kaya ko siya pina-pass. - As in may meaning yung quote na apektado ako.
And pag nagsesend ako, hindi by group. By person talaga. Kung makatanggap man ako ng quote, isesend ko siya sa isang tao dahil may kahulugan yun.

Personally, I think it's pointless to send quotes. Unang-una, sayang sa load. Or kung unli-text ka man, eh sayang sa energy ng iyong cellphone. Tska minsan hindi naman lahat ng tao na papadalan mo eh babasahin yung quote eh.

Sige, sasabihin ng sender na nagsesend siya para ma-feel nung receiver na iniisip siya nung sender - or para ma-feel ng receiver na may nakakaalala sa kanya. Pero. Diba. Sana wag na lang quote. Straight-forward dapat! (i.e. I miss you - or Naaalala kita!) Diba. Kaysa sa love or friendship quote lang na paligoy-ligoy pa.

How can you freaking decode that?

As a receiver, kung nag-assume ka na "uy namimiss niya ko (ng sender)" eh baka sabihan ka pa na makapal mukha mo dahil hindi naman pala ganun talaga yung nararamdaman niya.

May mga tao din na nagpapass lang sila dahil gusto lang nila abusuhin yung unlitext nila, or nagsesend lang sila para replyan din sila ng quote kasi (matamaan na lang ang matatamaan) *ubo* desperado *ubo* sila makatanggap din ng text message.

At eto pa. Dahil nga copy-paste lang ang mga quotes na yan, at lalo na kung madami kang textmates na mahilig magsend ng quotes, eh usually natatanggap mo yung same quote mga at least 3 to 5 times from different persons. Napaka-generic na ng mga quotes na pag nabasa mo yung first four lines pa lang ng quote eh buburahin mo na dahil natanggap mo na kay ano yung quote na to.

So why am I talking about this? Kasi may natanggap akong quote from a friend. At ipopost ko siya dito. HAHA. Ang hypocrite ko.

Pero hindi ko naman siya sinend eh. Wala lang. Gusto ko lang ipost. Bakit ba. Kasi natamaan ako e. HAHA. SHET.

"We have to realize that love isn't enough to make a relationship work.
We need trust, respect, effort, and total commitment.
If a person does not show respect,
does not earn your trust, and can't keep a promise,
then no matter how many times they say "I Love You",
these words will be empty;
Take time to listen to what they don't say,
take time to look at what they don't show.
Because there are secrets hidden beneath their words.
So don't let passion, but wisdom decide for you..
Love wisely, because it's never easy to love."

Hay. Yun yon e.

Owell. May sinendan na ko just now. Kasi nung tinype ko siya at nag-emphasize ako ng certain things, it turns out na may dapat palang matamaan sa quote na to. HAHA.

But anyway, no matter how generic this quote may be, I still listen to it.

"God puts us in certain situations for a reason. If we are in a good situation, it means, we deserve it. If it's bad, it's because we have to learn a lesson from what we will experience from that situation and if He knows na we can't handle it, He'll always find a way to remove us from that situation."

Okay yun lang. :P Gulo ko.
Ciao!

Kahit gustohin ko man maging hindi malungkot o ma-depress o ma-disappoint, eh talagang hindi ko siya maialis sa sistema ko. Actually ang ginagawa ko ngayon ay nagcconvert ng emosyon. Emo-ness to Anger.

Oo. Anger. Kaya siguro ako nagbblog ngayon dahil nga nacconvert ko na yung emotion into anger.

Ang top 3 sa list ko na ayokong ginagawa saakin ay ayokong iniiwan ako sa ere at nagbabago kaagad ng plano ng wala man lang sinasabi saakin. (Top 1 being; ayokong pinagsisinungalingan/niloloko ako at top 2 ay; ayokong pinaplastikan ako dahil hindi ko kayang maging plastik - at ayoko rin maging ganun.)

Ayoko nang ma-depress dahil unang-una, walang nangyayari saakin. - Wala sa character ko maging stagnant. Feeling ko kasi kailangan galaw ako ng galaw dahil hindi ako mapirmi sa isang lugar. I need progress. Kung ang means ng aking progress ay conflict, so be it. Handa ako sa conflict. Dahil ayon nga kay Karl Marx, kung walang anti-thesis, hindi magkakaroon ng synthesis. At gusto ko ng magkaroon ng synthesis. NOW!
Pangalawa, pumapangit ako. OO. Ayokong pumapangit ako kasi pangit na nga ako tapos lalo pa kong papangit. PLEASE. Ayoko.
Pangatlo, naiiyak lang ako. At ayokong umiyak. Dahil alam kong it's not worth it. And papangit din ako. So ayoko nga talaga nun.
At, pang-apat, dahil nga stagnant ako, mapapaisip ako. Magtatanong ako ng kung ano-ano (i.e. Bakit? Ano kaya nangyari? AT BAKIT WALA PARIN AKONG NATATANGGAP NA KAHIT ANONG RESPONSE NGAYON? - hence, pasok siya sa list na ayokong ginagawa saakin - refer to top 3) -- Please, wag gumawa ng excuse dahil I can be contacted in different ways. (i.e. YM, Friendster, E-Mail, Landline.)

Kaya ngayon, convinced na ko na hindi na ko malungkot, kung hindi ay galit. Dahil pag galit ako ay nagagawa kong maging busy. Nagkakaroon ako ng drive para gumawa ng mga bagay na ayokong gawin pag depressed ako. At pag nagiging busy ako, makakalimutan ko lang yung nangyari. At magiging masaya ako kasi nawawala siya sa isip ko.

...buti di pa huli ang lahat.

Mga lima na ata nagsabi saakin niyan. Although they all said it in a different way, yan parin ang context nyang phrase na yan.

Grabe. Nakita ko tong dadating eh. Pramis. Talagang pinaghandaan ko itong pangyayaring ito. Dahil alam kong mangyayari siya ulit. Pero ang pinagkaiba nung dati sa ngayon eh, after 24 hours, may alam na ko.

Dati ayoko magassume kasi baka may ibang nangyari.. Baka lang pinapairal ko nanaman ang ka-praningan ko at pagka-asumera ko at sa kahuli-hulihan mare-realize ko na nagsayang ako ng pagod sa kakaisip pero wala naman pala lang yun. Ngunit, napaisip ako. Dati naman, makakaya niya akong kausapin kung gugustuhin niya. Like I said, maraming paraan para masabihan ako. Pero kamusta ka neng! After 3 days. WALA parin akong alam. Sana diba sinasabihan man lang ako.

Ayoko talagang magexpect. Kasi eto yung nakakainis eh. Yung hindi umaabot sa expectations mo or hindi sumunod sa plano mo yung mga gusto mong mangyari or yung inakala mong mangyayari eh hindi naman pala magiging ganun diba.

EWAN. Ayoko na isipin. Pero sana lang. Hindi ako iniwan sa ere. Was it too much to ask? Hindi ako naiinis sa nangyari eh. Tanggap ko kasi ito dahil like I said, pinaghandaan ko siya. Ang naiinis ako, wala akong kaalam-alam. Nangyari na lang ng walang pahintulot. Parang aksidente ba.

Gaya nga ng sabi ng ate ko, isa akong tonte. Oo pa-joke niya nga sinabi yun - at sinabi niya yun dahil sa ibang bagay na ginawa ko. Pero. OO. I secretly agree with her in this topic.

Hindi ako galit dun sa tao. Galit ako sa nangyari.



















AT OO DUN SA TAO NARIN.

Puta.

Hindi ako nagpapaawa o bitter dun sa nangyari. Naglalabas lang ako ng nararamdaman. Ayoko ng itago pa yung nararamdaman ko.

Isa naman talaga ito sa mga flaws ko diba. Hindi ako nagiging vocal sa mga nararamdaman ko.
O yan. Sinabi ko na.

Tatahimik na ko. Ayoko ng pagusapan pa to.

GAHD. Some people never change.

Insecurities.

Everyone has them. Even the most beautiful people in the world has insecurities of their own. You get pretty exasperated when this almost-perfect person tells you that he or she is ugly, when deep down inside you, the listener, aspire to be like them - to be THEM.

But honestly, no matter how ugly you feel, you're beautiful. Some people aspire to be like you too. And who knows, the people idolize just might want to be like you too. And to some other person out there, you're perfect.

YAK ANG EMO.

I miss my highschool friends. :((